God made us special.
I am always thinking that I'm really not talented...I'm only talented if someone needs me. That is not true and I'm learning that the hard way. Some people just want you to think that, so you will always be dependent upon them and then they can use you for whatever they want, for as long as they want. You cannot grow that way, so the people doing that to you obviously don't care about you. That happened to me and I should of left when I saw it happening, but I didn't. Silly of me for believing their lies, like "that" place was the only place that I could learn. The only place that I could have friends. The only place I could play on stage and have fun. The only place I could share my love of music with others that had the same love of music as me.
Because of their lies I almost lost two of the most important things inside of me...
My faith in God's Grace and my passion for music.
Music is almost like breathing to me and God's Grace is my breath.
When I can't sleep God gave me my guitar to pick up and play.
It's like He's singing a lullaby to me <3
And when I think I've screwed everything up by letting my guard down, He shows me
that I can lean on Him instead of trusting on my own self efforts.
I finally left and I lost some friends because I did.
So I've been a little depressed lately and I think I actually wanted to be.
But right now, writing this, I can see, I have grown more in just a few days then I have in two whole years. I'm already gaining ground, I'm winning, I'm rounding third base.
I know the reason now.
God has had my back from the very beginning.
I just didn't know it or just didn't believe it.
He really is my BEST friend!
This is just another day where Jesus's love for me is as bright as the sun.
I guess that saying is true "the best revenge is success."
But since Jesus is in me, I'm already successful!!
THAT IS GOOD ;)
I hope someone can read this and see that there is always going to be a sunrise.
No matter how alone you feel...your NOT.
ttyl
I am always thinking that I'm really not talented...I'm only talented if someone needs me. That is not true and I'm learning that the hard way. Some people just want you to think that, so you will always be dependent upon them and then they can use you for whatever they want, for as long as they want. You cannot grow that way, so the people doing that to you obviously don't care about you. That happened to me and I should of left when I saw it happening, but I didn't. Silly of me for believing their lies, like "that" place was the only place that I could learn. The only place that I could have friends. The only place I could play on stage and have fun. The only place I could share my love of music with others that had the same love of music as me.
Because of their lies I almost lost two of the most important things inside of me...
My faith in God's Grace and my passion for music.
Music is almost like breathing to me and God's Grace is my breath.
When I can't sleep God gave me my guitar to pick up and play.
It's like He's singing a lullaby to me <3
And when I think I've screwed everything up by letting my guard down, He shows me
that I can lean on Him instead of trusting on my own self efforts.
I finally left and I lost some friends because I did.
So I've been a little depressed lately and I think I actually wanted to be.
But right now, writing this, I can see, I have grown more in just a few days then I have in two whole years. I'm already gaining ground, I'm winning, I'm rounding third base.
I know the reason now.
God has had my back from the very beginning.
I just didn't know it or just didn't believe it.
He really is my BEST friend!
This is just another day where Jesus's love for me is as bright as the sun.
I guess that saying is true "the best revenge is success."
But since Jesus is in me, I'm already successful!!
THAT IS GOOD ;)
I hope someone can read this and see that there is always going to be a sunrise.
No matter how alone you feel...your NOT.
ttyl
That is such a beautiful post Heather! I have warm tears rolling down my cheeks. Your heart is so tender and amazingly wise for your age. I am sorry for the pain you went through. I know that it is even more painful when it happens at the very place that proclaims to be representing God and should be safe for you and your heart. Especially when a heart is so young and vulnerable! How we treat others really shows a lack of receiving the love of God for ourselves. The people that hurt you are hurt themselves and obviously have not received and allowed the unearned Love of God to continually heal them and transform them. BUT, for sure that doesn't mean you are to hang out and let them keep on hurting you! We cannot change people. Only God can do that! Again, I am just so, so sorry for the pain of betrayal honey! I know how "frustrating" it can be when you know the lies, manipulation and injustice of it all. But, your conclusion is so right on! God has given you your talents and nothing changes that fact! And, God has always had your back and truly is your best friend. You brought sunshine and hope to my own heart with your beautiful and gifted words of reminding me that there will still be a sunrise, no matter how alone I feel...I am not! Thank you sweetheart. I really needed to be reminded of that! I am glad you let God use your gift with writing to share and bring me sunshine today. Much love! ~ Aunt Becca
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness, Heather! You amaze me! You are so talented and such a Godly young lady! Anyone that doesn't see that has blinders on. Sometimes others self reliance and self righteousness blinds them. Others are so unhealthy that they will treat others unhealthy in return. I don't know what you have gone through lately, but whatever it is, it has only made you stronger! You are an amazingly artistic person with as much beauty on the inside as on the outside! You keep looking up!
ReplyDeleteI thank you Aunt Becca and Tonya from the bottom of my heart for your encouraging and thoughtful words:) Sorry it took me so long to reply back but just wanted you guys to know that I totally agree. Since I wrote this I've been trying to simply concentrate on God's love for me and all He has in store for me, rather than all the hurtful things people say or do ;) To do this, one has to seperate one's self from things like Facebook and blogs and other things like that. I'm sure you guys know those times when taking a break is the best thing to do. I have definitely found that taking time out from explaining myself, has given me time to truly know what I believe in and how I feel. I've come to that place were I have peace in my heart that God is leading me in the right way and that no matter what anyone says or thinks I know I'm doing the right thing. So thanks again. Lots of love :) Heather
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